Hey y’all,
Haven’t written in quite awhile I guess so let me do a bit of a catch up.. I was transferred back to Foothills (from Rockyview) on the evening of December 2nd and spent the past week settling in, getting another PICC line put in, getting set up on TPN (liquid IV diet) and waiting to start chemo.
I have been on the TPN as well as a a full fluid diet, so still just juice, water, popsicles, ice cream, puddings, yogurts, cream of wheat and things like that in small amounts that i’m able to handle. It has been pretty hard, not being able to tolerate solid foods but I have been having little treats like rice krispy squares and doughnuts.. I also keep a constant stash of candy canes (peppermint or cherry? 🤔)
Yesterday afternoon I was able to start my first round of chemo.. and it’s weird to write about because it’s something that I was have been anticipating but simultaneously dreading for almost 2 months.
I don’t know how to describe to anyone what that was like or how it felt. I think i’ve blocked it to some extent already..
Despite trying to not think about it and settle down before they took me, I was extremely anxious and nauseous and my pain felt out of control all day leading up to treatment. It was just a nasty cycle.
I felt the worst when I arrived at the outpatient unit. I felt completely out of it from all the drugs — fentanyl, hydromorphone, ondansetron, gravol and ativan at that point..
I couldn’t get comfortable from the increasing pain and my pressure in my back and chest. Everything was rising up.. (continued in next post)